What #BeAnAlly Means to Me

We’ve heard so much about the term “allyship” over the last few years and one thing is certain: it means different things to different people. I propose a related phrase: #BeAnAlly. As I’ve returned to the technology workplace from a role as a palliative care chaplain, this hashtag holds meaning that I believe is universal: love your neighbor as yourself.

One doesn’t need advanced spiritual care training to do this

There are third-party employee care programs for the workplace, but that is not what I’m advocating for here. I envision a workplace where people are equipped and empowered to have one another’s back, to be a supporter and an advocate, to lift others up, and to stand and walk with colleagues when they struggle. One doesn’t need advanced spiritual care training to do this. All one needs is empathy and the desire to be an active part of a movement – a #BeAnAlly movement – where being truly seen and heard as a whole person is a normal aspect of the workplace culture. Trained chaplains can facilitate learning that helps create this culture in the workplace by helping to develop empathy, a listening practice, mindfulness, and presence with leaders, managers, and employees.

The need for this today could not be greater. After nearly two years of isolation and lockdown combined with consistent stressors both at home and at work, we see indicators of a crisis – a silent pandemic of pain. The CDC just announced that overdose deaths have reached a record high: 270 lives lost each day. Compare that to 350 lives lost daily to COVID: death by overdose is nearly 75% of the scale of COVID. We know from the work of physician like Gabor Mate’ that abuse of opioids is a response to unmanaged pain, both physical and emotional. And we see it at work: according to insurers, 6 out of 10 corporate executives “self-medicate” to deal with stress since the pandemic started.

Every human at work can do spiritual care for the support of others and the healing of the world

Most of these leaders choose not to seek help and instead turn to easily available numbing mechanisms like alcohol and opioids. EAP programs and supplemental employee care programs have their place, and we can do more. Every human at work can do spiritual care for the support of others and the healing of the world. When we understand the power of personal presence, the connecting power of empathy, and are willing to show vulnerability in day-to-day interactions, being a part of the workplace can change lives.

A couple of years ago I had the privilege of giving a keynote presentation to a technology conference of Internet cloud providers. As I closed my talk about the future of security, I turned to the importance of each person in the room to realize a vision of a secure and trusted Internet. I spoke of how we needed to #BeAnAlly because burnout, like the burnout I experienced when I was CISO of Microsoft, was all too prevalent. As I scanned the room at the end of my talk, it was clear I had touched a nerve as I saw tears in the eyes of the audience. I was approached by individuals throughout the day who wanted to share their experience. The following year at another technical meeting, an individual came up to me to let me know that talk and the brief encounter we had following my presentation had saved his career and maybe his life.

It may not be easy, but it is worth the effort

This is why I advocate for all of us to #BeAnAlly and lift one another up all the time. Regardless of faith tradition, or the absence of it, we are all souls having a human experience. When we choose to #BeAnAlly, we choose to recapture the highest and best of our humanity as we show up in love, empathy, and vulnerability for one another in the workplace.