Healing and resilience retreats: views from participants

Several participants in our Healing and Resilience Retreats have generously offered to share their experiences with the Lab audience. We pass those words along here as examples of the comfort and growth that can come from chaplains connecting and resting in space and time set aside for their healing:

There are many ingredients required to heal. Top among them is time and space just to be; to step away from the daily hustle and honor pain and hurt; to have one’s suffering acknowledged and witnessed. For me, this retreat offered just that.

Simply knowing that significant institutional resources had been set aside so that I could be cared for and held, after having expended so much of my heart and soul caring for others, was extremely powerful. We had the privilege of receiving the gift that we give to so many others day in and day out: a sacred space in which to rest and to return to ourselves.

My work as an inpatient palliative care chaplain is emotionally and spiritually draining. There was something truly magnificent about joining my colleagues in such a serene and remote place, where nothing was asked of me and I could simply be in the company of others, letting down my specific burden, which I knew everyone around me carried, as well. It is such uniquely sacred and sometimes spiritually isolating work that we do as chaplains, holding so much heartache for other people, dancing on the border between life and death. It is delicate and profound and exhausting. We stretch our humanity to the brink over and over and over, with seemingly little respite. To have this acknowledged and celebrated in such a big way was an act of care and generosity that moved me deeply.

Beyond its symbolic power, the retreat itself was magnificent. It was serene and beautiful, a true replenishing for the soul. The facilitators were exceptional. I was so in awe of how flexible and creative they were in assessing and responding to our needs. It was a joy to have a structure to support us while also not being beholden to a rigid schedule. We were each invited to follow our intuition and do what was best for us at all times. The goal was rest and tender care, and that was very clear. Our facilitators were gentle and funny and kind and warm. We used multiple modalities to explore our bodies, our voices, and our creativity. We sat in quiet together for hours, joyfully pursuing a communal art project. Such a special experience.

Before the retreat began, I had thought that I would want to speak and process and share my wounds out loud. It turns out that was not what I needed at all. I needed silent companionship, and I received it. I went for a gorgeous silent hike in the woods with my peers, which was tremendous. Everything about the retreat was intentional and thoughtful and regenerative. I feel such deep gratitude for the opportunity to participate in this experience. I hope for all of my chaplain colleagues around the world that they would be able to receive such a gift to the spirit.

In a hospital, the chaplain cares for everyone: patients, families, nurses, doctors, administrators. Everyone. But no one is there to care for the chaplain. In the wake of the pandemic especially, chaplains, too, are in desperate need of care. This retreat was such an incredible demonstration of support that went far beyond the benefit offered by verbal acknowledgment. Actually spending resources – money, time, people, nature, accommodations, food – made me feel respected, acknowledged, and appreciated in a way that I never have before. As if to say, “You, too, are deserving of loving care.” That is a powerful message to receive and internalize. And necessary to sustain us in this work.

Rabbi Dena Trugman serves UCLA Health in Los Angeles, California.